I'm back...I think

I looked at the date of my last posting and couldn't believe that a whole month had gone by since I last posted anything here. Where did the month go? Oh yeah, stuck in a blizzard called life. Work was going through a huge transition, my role in the office changed and drastically demanded more of my time. Our business has also taken off and we're doing more work that required more of my attention and with tons of details that I need to keep track of. My kids are getting older and demands more of my time and energy.

My husband and I are such workaholics we drive ourselves to the ground regularly, this past month, I was doing more than I should - another trait I've been trying to control. He works so hard until he doesn't have any energy or motivation left to want to go to the office OR until he gets too sick to go to the office. I work so hard and so focused that I end up getting insomnia from thinking too much and losing so much weight with all the energy I spend without the food intake to compensate for it - all in all, it ends with me dying to get time off but refusing to take it until it's forced by others around me - my boss, my husband, my family...

I missed writing though, not the business correspondence or the reports or the analyses for work. Writing creatively, for no other reason than to allow my brain to express whatever it has inside - to release creative juices that have been quieted by the left side of my brain in its ever moving quest for logic and rational reasoning.

I miss talking about nonsense with my friends, about anything and everything that has gone one around the world - serious or humorous, silly or tragic - anything. These days the only thing I've had time to do is ask how they've been and move on.

But there is more to life than this, I know. But this is where I excel. Where I can put my energy and mind into something that would result in very good work - to an outstanding performance. That's not me blowing my own horn, just my past experience, I know if I put my heart and soul into something and work hard, it's going to work. This works in the workplace more than in real life but that's another story all together, and one I'm not in any position to say anything about. I'm still learning.

But I missed posting in my blog, and so many of my new online friends have dropped by and I really appreciate your words and kind wishes. It's so nice to have you around. I hope to be able to post more regularly and share whatever tidbit that I have to share....hope you don't mind. :)

My list of things to do is over 4 pages long, in excel, in landscape. That's for work, business, home (we're looking to sell our home soon), family (dance classes, kindergarten school searches, bi-annual physical examinations for everyone, dental appointments, holiday plans, scheduling holiday pictures, it's endless!!!), travel plans.

It's still so crazy, my brain is screaming at me to work on the stuff I brought home from work instead of this posting - but I feel the need to throw everything out before I go back to my work mode. So here it is:

I am happy and content,
tired and exhausted,
searching and finding,
needing and needed,
stressed and pressured,
motivated and eager.
I find that I am where I wanted to be,
and it's not how I expected it to be.

Me, signing out for now - hopefully only temporarily.