I was a single mom...for a week

I have a new found respect for single mothers. I've always held them in a special place because they've decided against all odds (more so in the Philippines with the social stigma issues and conservative nature of most people there) to raise their child alone. I'm especially reminded of a friend of mine who had a child at 16 and is now a successful lawyer, and had graduated top of her class besides. Her son is an amazing young man and their relationship is truly something to be envied.

Brian has been out of town for an entire week now, leaving me with the children. It hasn't really been completely out of control, on weekdays they're in daycare and on weekends it's just a matter of giving them something to do, plus Brian's just going to be gone for a week so, it's not that bad.

I've gone back to smoking though..(bad Marla, bad Marla) it's really funny because more than work - they stress me out. Ian is 2 and a silent destroyer...he destroyed my bathroom with water AND tissue paper when I left him alone for a few minutes...then, as I was cleaning up that mess, he went downstairs and emptied a loaf of bread and scattered them IN PIECES all over my dining room and living room floor...not too bad on the stone floor, but on the carpet ... what a pain! I was so angry, after a full day of work, the last thing I wanted to do was clean up messes and yet, here I am. I scolded Ian, who looked properly chastised and then he grinned and said, "MAMA!" giving me a big hug. Now, who can continue to be mad?

Moira is 4 and she is a stubborn, independent and strong-willed little girl. (Mom laughs because Moira reminds her of me and she feels vindicated that all the trouble I put her through when I was young, will now be done to me by my girl.) She chooses her own clothes, decides what she wants to eat, wants to do things at her own time and when it doesn't conform to what I need her to do, throws a tantrum like only a 4 year old can. Sometimes it's hard to think of her as being 4 because she seems older in years - vocabulary-wise, rationalizing, etc. - then she throws a huge tantrum...and then I'm reminded, she's a little girl, not an adult.

My schedule isn't too harsh, up by 7:30am to get everyone ready to go, breakfast bars on the way out the door (and milk, juice or water for thirsty toddlers), drop them off at daycare. A full day's work at my office ending at about 5:30pm, go pick up kids get home by 6:00pm, play a disney channel cartoon for Moira and give her a snack, give Ian his cars and toys to play with and his snack then begin dinner. Dinner is at 7pm - we all sit at the dining table (I am tired of picking up crumbs everywhere) where I struggle to get them to eat everything on their little plates, lots of "mom, I want more juice, I want more chicken, I don't like peas..." By the time we're done, the dining room is a huge mess (Ian likes spreading his food on the table before he eats it...God only knows why)...we march upstairs, by now it's 8pm, for a bath.

They get in the bath, I shampoo their hair and leave them to play with each other as I clear the mess downstairs a little bit, turn on my laptop to start work on my business and check on the sounds of the kids, making sure there are 2 kids laughing and no crying. Ian usually wants out first and I dress him up and that's our little cuddle time. We lay in bed and play our tickle games, read him his books and play word games. Moira usually lounges in the bath more, playing or just laying on the water.

I brush Ian's teeth, then it's his turn - then at 9pm he says goodnight to his Ate and I put him in bed. Truck and bear in hand and his favorite blankets, he's all set. I turn off his lights, close the door and in my head, "One down, one more to go."

Moira drags her feet more because she knows it's bedtime, once out of the bath it's a struggle to find the "right" princess night dress to wear. Then it's another struggle to find her special princess toothpaste, I brush her teeth and then it's her turn...then it's begging, cajoling, pleading and bargaining time for her so that she can lay in my bed for another 5-10 minutes and watch cartoons. I usually let her do it, and we can lay together as she watches and I chat a bit on my laptop. Finally, 5 minutes is over, I kiss her goodnight, hand her Star Bear and she's off to bed. I tuck her in, turn off her lights, sing her her night-night song and I close the door...it's 9:30pm. I've been up and running since 7am....time to clean the kitchen and the front room, otherwise it's a bigger mess in the morning.

By the time I'm done and ready to relax it's about 10pm...I take a quick bath, turn on the tv and log into my chatrooms and conferences...finally, it's time for me. I try to sleep early but I'm such a night owl I end up sleeping at 1am. (Bakit kaya? hehe) Then the whole thing starts again in the morning..

I miss Brian...