On what made us renew our vows

It's easy to get lost in the busy-ness of all the wedding preparations, the work, kids and family responsibilities and just the "to-do" lists that we have. It's also easy to lose sight of the big picture when the nitty-gritty and minute details gets us bogged down.

That's why I'm glad I have Brian.

We are polar opposites, it's amazing. Aside from the obvious, he is as Caucasian as can be and I am purely Filipina, he is the yang to my ying. He didn't have a single dressy shirt before I met him, except for that suit he wore to a wedding. I could find in my closet the perfect cocktail dress to wear for that not quite cool, not yet warm spring season on a cruise ship for a Sunday brunch with the Pope and the Sultan of Brunei.

I am a planner, goal oriented with to do lists in my PDA, cellphone, computer (both desktop and laptop), and in my dayplanner. Brian has ADD, to focus on one thing takes all his energy - he has his things to do lists to, but if mine is to be able to cross things off so I don't forget anything, his is to be able to focus on the next task. He is spontaneous, he can quit his job and in two weeks have us move to a different city, find a new house, new friends and settle down. (This actually happened, don't ask me, I still have nightmares).

He is so outgoing, he used to be a lead singer of several punk bands growing up. He has an amazing voice, a wonderful personality and just the coolest guy to hang around with. I am more introverted, I enjoy the company of friends and people, but in a setting that I am comfortable with, not anywhere. I could be at ease with people but also be completely enthralled by a bookshop - I could spend hours there and not notice it. I was never one for the limelight, while he was most at home with it.

His favorite thing to read is a comic book - he is a geek and a techie. Video games are his passion. He can discuss animation (both keyframe and motion capture), as well as hardware and software issues that can potentially cause the blue screen of death. I love books, the thicker the better, the more archaic the words, the better. I am a nerd to his geekdome. My passion is writing, sometimes drawing. Discussions on politics, economics and history intrigue and capture me.

And yet, we have shared our passions with each other, and while we could lose the other in our discussions, we have learned to grow into it. We have learned to work together on the planning and spontaneity side of our family life, we have learned to work together on our personalities.

He is my breath of fresh air as he introduces me to all things casual, rugged and natural. I am his guide in the world of grown ups and society and the world. We bring out the best in each other and find strength in our own weaknesses. While separately we can survive, life is just so much better together - and it just makes sense that way.

The things that initially bound us, our shared sarcasm (the only true brand of humor), the long conversations, and constant desire to discover something new, keeps our relationship grounded, but it is our differences that make us grow in our relationship.

Yesterday he said, don't let the small things get to you - the bottomline is, we're already married. I am in this for the long run, this wedding is just another way to show you I love you...(a slight pause) and for me to get a bit of diving along the way.

My husband, my equal partner in life. And a constant irritant to my good stories. Gotta love him.

Countdown...

I've been so delinquent, I was supposed to be regularly blogging instead, an entire month had gone by before I was able to write anything again. Although I know that there isn't really a captured audience with my writing, I still feel bad that I haven't been as active as I wanted to be in the start of the year.

Well, with the travel date finally getting closer, I've done a lot more for the wedding - finally. For a few weeks, I had to stop working on it for awhile because work, business and taxes got in the way - I had to make sure all that was taken care of before I could work on the wedding. Add those to the day-to-day routine of a family with 2 toddlers and you would know that it wasn't easy juggling my time and energy.

Finally though, I crossed off more things off my list of things to do. It's gotten so bad I've had to type (yes, type...I am OC after all) up 2 different things to do lists. One for the general list and another containing ALL of the things I need to do before I left for Manila. So far, I've been able to cut it down progressively, but not substantially enough for my stress level to go down. But like my husband says, I am working it down and if I don't get the small details taken care of, it doesn't really matter - as long as we have a venue to get married, eat and have friends and family to share the occasion with, nothing else matters.

He is so great at getting me to calm down. I am forever grateful to have such an amazing man at my side.

My engagement story

I have been reading a lot of engagement stories recently and decided to write ours. Unlike some folks, I didn't know we were getting engaged and marriage...well, it wasn't even something we really discussed.

Brian and I had been going out for 3 years already and were very comfortable with our arrangements. He had been having problems with the company he was in though, and the fact that Manila, well, for as much as it had been good to him, he was missing home. He was thinking about leaving the company, which also meant he probably would be going back to the US. It was about November 1998 then and we started talking about what would happen to us.

I had a Team Building outing with folks at the Australian Embassy and left for 3 days. During that time, I took the time to really think about what we were going to do. Neither of us had talked about marriage and we were really focused on in our careers. I thought the best thing for both of us was to try to work out a long distance relationship first and see how that goes. If after living apart we realized we loved each other too much, we can see what we can do; if not, then I suppose, the break up would be simpler (painful, but simpler).

When I got back, I told him what I thought and he agreed. The next week, he left for his Christmas holiday - he usually spends it with his family in Utah. That trip, he was going to visit his old friends on the way home, his best friend in Texas, a good friend in San Francisco and another close friend in Colorado. I was going to meet his family for the first time the day after Christmas so it was going to be our first holiday with each other as well.

He called regularly and if I wasn't at work, he would leave a looooong message on my voice mail, which made me smile when I heard it. One time, we were chatting and he said, his mom wanted to give me a Mormon ring as a Christmas gift. Being a devout Catholic and very active in the church, I was hesitant, until he told me it doesn't really signify being a member of the church of Mormons but just a nice ring. He needed my ring size, then asked if I preferred it in silver, gold or white gold. I told him several times his mom didn't need to do it, but he said she wanted to do it for me.

Anyway, I forgot about that whole exchange days later when in between work, Christmas shopping and family reunions I had to pack and go to Utah. After 23 hours of travel, I was finally in Salt Lake City, I took my carry-all and wheeled it out the plane. I stepped out to find Brian and his dad there - for some reason his Dad was filming my arrival. I thought it odd but smiled anyway.

The next conversation went this way:
Brian: How was the flight?
Jetlagged me: Loong, I'm so tired..I barely understand you.
Brian: Well, can you understand if I ask you a question?
Me: Sure (already preparing to answer the question which I was sure was the, 'how much luggage did you bring?' question).
Brian: (pulling out a small box from his shirt pocket) Blosh grish na whoo?
Me: (looking at him strangely and then looking at the box in his hand) What?

Then I realized what was in his hand, it was a gorgeous diamond ring, the setting was beautiful, it was perfect! If I had to choose a ring, I would've chosen that ring. I realized then, what he was asking...I hugged him tight and we hugged for a long time. We didn't stop until his dad asked, "Brian, was that a yes?"

Brian looked at me and asked me if it was and I said yes.

It wasn't planned, wasn't talked about, wasn't even what we agreed to do, but deep inside, we knew we were meant to do it. We planned a year's engagement and got married on March 18, 2000 in LA.

Now, 5 years later, we're set to do it all over again...this time in church and in front of family and friends in Manila.