A regular day

Today, after weeks of working either on the wedding or the business, became a day of routine and normalcy. (Thank God, I can't help but utter.) I went to work, dropped the kids off at daycare - worked on TONS of paperwork and trading, not to mention reports and summary of accounts, then went home to cook dinner (shrimp scampi and garlic rice), put the kids to bed and then do our taxes...

Well, I was supposed to do our taxes but I got involved in a chat room with w@wies and n@wies...it was fun, they were funny and it got my mind off the wedding and just spent the evening chatting. I had to rest but now as i'm writing, it reminds me that after the wedding, it will be weeks of regular days again. Much like the last 4 years have been...and while I look forward to that right now, I know I will get bored (again).

I am glad that through this course of preparations though, I've met really cool, interesting and funny people. I'm glad for this regular day - I didn't get to do a bit of wedding stuff...but I thoroughly enjoyed today.

Bump on the road

I hit my first (and hopefully my last) bump on the road with the church yesterday. It's a long story but here it is in a nutshell...

When I first got married in LA, we were married by a Catholic priest in a studio where my husband worked. We did that to be able to webcast our wedding to the Philippines as well. We were reassured by the priest that he had done several Filipino weddings and was very familiar with our customs and traditions. He also said there was no problem if we weren't getting married in a church, he can still officiate. And so we took his services and we married in March 18, 2000.

Fast forward to June 2004 and I contacted our parish here in San Diego to confirm our wedding's validity. The archdiocese in Quezon City was asking whether or not our wedding was a sacramental marriage. I faxed our marriage contract and marriage certificate to the parish and the Archdiocese of San Diego came back with: Our marriage was not validly recognized by the Roman Catholic Church because we were married by an Orthodox Catholic priest whose church was not recognized by the Roman Catholic church. (What?!?!) As such, we are only civilly married.

We now have to go through all the paperwork and requirements sent by the parish in Manila (affidavits of non impediment to marry signed by our parents, friends and ourselves witnessed by our parish priests, application for mixed marriage (foreigner and Filipino), application for catholic and non-catholic marriage, permission to marry in church, etc. plus seminars). We approached Monsignor Duncanson from our parish for help and he offered to conduct all the preparations in the parish and he would send all the paperwork, certificates and interviews to Manila.

The next road block was the fact that we could not work on it until 6 months before the wedding, so from June I had to wait until September before I could work on anything for the church. When September came, I scheduled a time to meet Father Duncanson and we arranged for an interview.

During the interview, it came out that we had intended from the very start to be married in church, that our understanding was our marriage was recognized by the Roman Catholic church and that we had no impediments to getting married and married on our own free will. He said, we didn't need to do a convalidation (civilly married requesting to marry in church to have our marriage blessed), what we needed to do was to petition for a decree of radical sanation (healing of the root - to validate our marriage from the date of our wedding).

He consulted with a priest well versed in canon law, and proceeded to submit a petition to the Archdiocese of San Diego's Marriage Tribunal. In December, I submitted the certificate of marriage, our marriage license and my baptismal certificate and on the first week of January, he called me to say that he received a copy of our decree and we have been granted our petition!!! I was so happy.

I faxed the certificate, the letter from our parish explaining the decree and a copy of our marriage certificate as well as a copy of our marriage license/contract to the Archdiocese in Quezon City. When I got a call from my mom telling me I needed to call them back, I got worried. They had a lot of questions about the paperwork I submitted and after I explained everything, they said - I couldn't get married again because I was married already AND I can't renew my vows because I've only been married for 5 years. (What?!?!)

She said she would have to show the paperwork to a priest, but there wasn't one available that day, she will get back to me today. She asked me to email her a letter requesting for permission to have a renewal of vows. I did and then sulked all night.

Today, I got a call from my mom saying it has been approved and I should wait for an email. I got it and it said, good news, the priest has approved the renewal of vows. Now, all I need to do is submit all the certified copies of all the papers I sent them and it will be done.

Now, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that this is all the hassles I will be getting about the ceremony during the wedding.

P.S. Throughout all this, my sisters in w@wie group has just been so great with their support and encouragement. They are so great!

My second dream dress?

When I started searching for my wedding gown, I had absolutely no idea what to look for. I already had the dress of my dreams in my first wedding gown, and there really was no such thing as a second dream dress, right? Well, during a search through brida magazines, I found it - the perfect dress to wear in my wedding. I loved its simplicity and elegance. I loved the ruffles in the back that flowed down to the floor, I wasn't so sure about the front though and not completely convinced about how the front would look. I sent the picture to Michi and she did her magic, she made the design and it was perfect. Here is the inspiration piece...

Where everything is at...

When we first decided on renewing our vows, I had very few concrete ideas. Where I was marrying, the designer for my gown, and my hair and make up. Beyond that, I had nothing. No ideas, concepts or even a where I would find it. I was working on the plans from the US and it was difficult. That was in May, 2004. Today, it's a lot better:

Michi Calica-Sotto - designer

She had made my first wedding gown and it was absolutely gorgeous. It was a white gown with black beadwork and swarovski crystals. The veil was a mantilla with the same black beadwork and crystals. Everyone loved it and so did I. I didn't think twice in getting her again. This time we decided on a more simple cut, flowing but elegant gown. I was insistent on no white this time though, and she agreed. She's doing the gowns for my mom, sister and daughter and my son's barong.

Fernwood Garden - reception and church

Although I initially wanted to have our wedding in Caleruega - logistically it would've been a nightmare. So I went for the next best thing - a rain forest atmosphere in the midst of the city. They had a beautiful chapel and several areas for a garden reception. We booked it in June.

Via Mare - caterer

Of the accredited caterers of Fernwood, Via Mare was the one that stood out for me because of our experience with them. Our family had used their services before, their food has been outstanding and they had a lot of credibility due to how long they've been in business. They were easy to talk to about the menu, cost and inclusions - so far, so good.

1816 Flowers - Florist

In our first wedding, I was going to use Robert Blancaflor and Clive de los Santos of 1816 Flowers. I envisioned a black and burgundy theme and Clive jumped at the idea - he said he was getting tired of the usual wedding themes. When we decided to marry again, they weren't my first choice because of costs but ended up with them anyway because they're the only ones I truly trust. Robert met with my mom and he remembered me from 5 years ago! He gave ideas, visions and had the whole picture in his head of the moroccan theme I wanted. Done and done.

Eddie Boy Escudero - Photographer

We met Eddie Boy when we first planned our first wedding and loved how his pictures captured the emotions of his weddings. He didn't have an album or stuff like that but we were convinced by his pictures that it didn't matter. When we chose the photographers this time, he was my first choice. He was available, he was so open to ideas and we booked him.

Claycakes - Wedding cake

The cake was a hard choice because I didn't really have any ideas except maybe do a gourmet cake with several mini cakes for guests to bring home. Or maybe a cupcake tree instead. When I saw Karla Magbanua's cakes though, and when my sister met with her, it was clinched. She designed the cake, the concept and even the original cake toppers for our cake. We signed with her, I approved the design and chose the flavors - which was GREAT! I love her cakes.

Emphasis Salon - Hair and Make up

This was a no brainer - I've been going to Teng Roma for my hair for YEARS. It was only fitting that I was going to use his beautiful salon for my wedding. They gave me a wonderful package plus a special gift for being a loyal client and we were done. He planned my hair style 4 months before and gave me a haircut to prepare my hair for his vision. That was his style. The best hairstylist there is. Plus the fact that his salon has a spa, the best threader (Mae) and make up artist, it was an easy decision.

Fiorgelato - Gelato

I wanted an ice cream bar for the wedding and when I found out about Fiorgelato was branching into the wedding services - it was perfect. Brian loves gelato. We visited them at their location and they served us gelato and their sherbet - orange, mango and buko pandan. It was great. They had a presentation to it as well which made it even better. And Rickie was just so accomodating, it was easy to make that choice.

Exclusively His - Brian's barong

Maan is a good friend of ours and her family owns Exclusively His. I've seen their work in a bridal fair I had gone to and was actually interested in it except Brian wasn't interested in wearing one. But when he found out that Ian would be wearing one, he decided to do it too. I texted Maan, got a reply and my mom is meeting with her for designs and embroideries.

Celebrations Event Specialist, Nenita Zabala - Wedding Coordinator

We were going to get Jody Liwanag who was a highly rated wedding coordinator in weddings at work. A lot of brides had used her services and had rave reports about her. Unfortunately, she was going to give birth in March and wouldn't be available, we did the next best thing, ask Jody who she would refer who could do what she did and she trusted to do a great job. She referred us to Nenita. My mom met with her, liked her and wanted me to meet with her when I came to Manila. I did and she seemed really on top of it and will be able to take care of our day. She was very organized, which I liked, and was going to be available to us for any questions, etc. We paid half and was done.

QP Designs - Invitations

Tried and tested, always good quality invitations AND gave us a great discount on the perfect invitation. We've checked the proofs and ordered 200 invitations.

String Minstrels - Musicians

They sound great, reviews on their performances have been above par and they're open to suggestions and songs. We're still in the middle of talks but I think it's been decided.

Edsa Shangri-la Hotel

Our regular hotel stay when we're in Manila. The grounds are surprisingly private inspite it being in the middle of busy Pasig city. Service and quality is always excellent. It's great - it also helps to have a friend to help me with the rates and room selection. The bridal car will also be coming from the hotel. Two birds with one stone, in a wedding is always a plus.

So far, so good...all that's left are the details.

Group of friends

I belong to an e-group called W@wies. It's a yahoo group for brides-to-be and grooms-to-be to find help and support from other couples preparing for their wedding. Initially, I didn't really think I would be too involved in it, but once you're in it, you develop a sense of kinship and friendship with them. You all share in the experience since you're all going through the same thing. And if there's anyone out there who thinks that preparing for a wedding is simple, will be in for a nice surprise.

I've met people online who answer questions, give support, help resolve unresolvable problems...and most haven't even met each other - all to help each one to reach the ultimate goal - a perfect wedding (at the perfect cost).

They're great...especially for brides like me who live overseas and need to coordinate the wedding from afar. I get to hear actual feedback about suppliers, hear about new and upcoming suppliers who is unexpensive but with great quality. It's been so helpful and they've really helped control my obsessive compulsive nature. I've learned a lot about letting go and if that doesn't work - sometimes it even helps when I see that other folks are having a much more difficult time about some things than I am (if anyone from the group reads this - sorry. we all have our problems, i suppose.) because that puts things in perspective for me.

So, if anyone out there reads this and is getting married in the Philippines...be sure to check them out: weddings@work.com You won't be sorry. :)

New Year

It's been a long time since I last wrote here and realized that in these last 3 months prior to my wedding, I had better start writing more. There is a lot to be said about preparations, conflicts, doubts (a different kind) and just general feelings about the wedding. So as one of my resolutions (no. 54) I decided to be more faithful to this blog.

Happy New Year, I have about 78 more days before our vows.